Saturday, August 11, 2007


Mad Men on AMC shows something very few people are aware of: in 1960, most people were assholes...Cut "Clerks 2" down to a minute and a half and you, sir, have one heck of a watchable film...Look for mine safety to be one of the hot topics in the country for the next forty eight hours; you heard it here first...If I had to be buried to death in a foodstuff of my choosing, I'd choose the iceberg wedge from The Palm--what a way to go!...Paging "John from Cincinnati:" I don't know what the fuck you're talking about...I don't know what onions are, or how they make them, but they sure make my burger sing...Say what you will about Rudy Guliani, the guy can certainly breathe good...Why is Seth Green everywhere? I went to put on a dress shirt and he pops out of my closet, telling me how busy he is with exciting new projects. That kid is a humble dynamo...Fire BAD...They say the pygmy elephants of Borneo are in danger. Man, I love that Grey's Anatomy...If you want a truly yellow condiment, you gotta go with mustard...Look for the Fed to cut interest rates sooner than later and for Eric Balfour to finally lose the mustache...Duran Duran, Justin Timberlake, and Timbaland collaborating? Finally some music for the statutory rapists!..Last week on Entourage, the show revolved around Vinnie trying to get E a forty thousand dollar desk. Since then, I've been thinking about suicide...If it was Calvin verses Hobbes in a fight to the death, I'd put my money on the kid. The tiger is an inanimate object, full of Chinese newspapers and the kid is a bloodlusting killing machine reminiscent of Tom Cruise's unhinged wingnut in the movie "Taps." Anyways, that's just one mensch's opinion...People who ONLY listen to "They Might Be Giants" scare me...If there's one thing I don't get, it's how uteruses work. Thank God for uterus doctors...If you have a bumper sticker for a Democratic presidential candidate, and also a bumper sticker that says "Starfleet Academy," please get rid of one of those bumper stickers...I for one am glad that whole "white people making gang signs in pictures" thing seems to have died down...I haven't even seen "Superbad," and in fact it doesn't even come out for another week. How come I'm sick of it?

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